Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Wretched - :( - !!!!!

You know the feeling of falling into an abyss ?
The sinking feeling of having hurt the people who love u the most on Earth
The guilt of having caused unhappiness to the ones who pray everyday for ur success
Knowing that u badly want to make things right , but cant
Knowing that ur words are sharper than a knife
Wanting to soften those words , but unable to
Wanting to undo what is done
You know ?

This blog wont be visited by those who should
And what i want to say will remain unsaid

85 comments:

Invincible said...

Take it easy mate !!

"You know the feeling of falling into an abyss ?"
no but i have been on the brink of falling into 1400 feet abyss (arkansas) and 1200 feet recently (sahyadris).

"The sinking feeling of having hurt the people who love u the most on Earth"
hmmm .. i m quite used to it.

"Knowing that ur words are sharper than a knife
Wanting to soften those words , but unable to
Wanting to undo what is done
You know ?"
Yes i know !! i have been thru such rough patches, feeling dejected even disgusted with myself.

"This blog wont be visited by those who should
And what i want to say will remain unsaid "
At least u can vent it out !!
hope u r feeling better now.

Calm down lady. Sometimes life doesnt give 2nd chance. it's all about letting it go.

kickassso said...

Awww dont feel bad!
what happened:(?

Vivhyd said...

oops.. hopefully things will become better soon... u cud start by asking forgiveness I think.. thts the 1st step..

AnonymousBlogger said...

Hang in there Deepa. We all do things we later regret. Whomever this is adressed to will understand that. Really.

Maya Cassis said...

I know what you mean.I feel it too...but we do the things we do for a reason

Keshi said...

heyy Deepzz that was a very intense post...what happened may I ask...most prolly u said ome hurtful words to a loved-ones..well it always happens with everyone of us na. We use words as bullets cos we cnt really shoot ppl can we lol! Jokes apart, I know u cant take back what u said...but u can take back the hurt sometimes...maybe by doing something nice to convey to them that u r deeply sorry for what happened...


**Knowing that u badly want to make things right , but cant

I know that feeling so well...just let it be...cos if u cant, then u cant...

Take it easy Deepz...and here's a HUGGGGGGGGG!

Keshi.

perplexed kid said...

Hope u r feeling good now...life goes on...take it easy lady

:: The Protector :: said...

heeey what happened?

"You know the feeling of falling into an abyss ?"

Not physically but emotionally yes!

"Knowing that ur words are sharper than a knife..."

words once put i can;t be taken back... it haunts!

hope u do better now! i know you can!
*huggggggggggsssssssss*

Cheers!
:)

hotICE said...

that was pretty intense.. but what happened? what has caused that fall into the wretched abyss?

Ajay said...

hey what happened.... hope u r fine buddy

Arz000n said...

Now what happend to her??

Till yesterday she was in Cloud 9 and jumping in joy and screaming in ma ears....suddenly wht??

I'm a religious guy, but if you are up there, please help Deepa zeee Superman!!!

:: The Protector :: said...

hiiiiiiiiiii deeps.........
YOU BEEN Tagged by me!!Check out ma blog.. :)

Cheers!
:)

Karthik said...

Hi... Here is a small story to cheer u up.. If you know this already treat this as a recap.

A professor once showed a $20 bill to the class and asked if anybody wanted it. All the hands went up.

He then crushed the bill a little bit and then asked if anyone still wanted it. Again almost all the hands went up.

He then threw the money on the ground, trampled on it a few times. He then asked the class if anyone would still like it. Again most of the hands went up.

Our life is like the $20 bill. We get crushed, trampled a lot but still dont lose our value.. We also do the same thing to others inadvertently and neither do they lose their value.

God gave us eyes in the front so that we look forward. So get on with your life..If you think you have done a mistake ask for a pardon or if you think the mistake is with the other side pardon them....

Sudeep said...

Wht yaar?? U make me dance everytime u feel sad.. not fair

okie.. jokes apart.. since u haven't told whts the reason for ur unhappiness, cant comment much on ur feelings at this moment

Here is e-Huuuggzzz.. might make u feel better

PRADEEP K. said...

I know that feeling, very well. That abyss is what my blog is all about. That is why I call it the Endless Chasm.

Btw, you've been tagged. Please check my blog for details.

Anil The Great said...

Deepa :

This blog is not life. Its virtual. Get real. go and talk to people who make you happy, who love you , whom you love. Unless you made a grave mistake, I wont say you should ask forgiveness, but talk to them, heart to heart. show them your feelings. Tell them how stupid you have been in talking such cruel words.

Realization is the first step towards healthy and successful life. Here by success I do not mean carrier, carrier is a very small part of the whole life. Think of the bigger pciture.

Anonymous said...

Hi Deepa,
i dont know who u r !
u dont know who i am !
but i happenned to come across a few of u're writings and i must say this struck a chord in my heart .the first thing that i thought after i finished reading was that "well here is someone in the same storm as i am". Beautifully scripted i must say. wonderful piece
keep up the good work Deepa!
.....Hugs.....

rebel_on_loose said...

Damn tht must b a sad feeling...
anyways...hope u get 2 convey the message to the whoever this ws meant for...and hope he'll understand!
Cheer Up!

DS said...

Deepa! Ur the best person to take a decision on what to do... either go and meet the person and let him/her know what u felt and make up; or just wait for time to heal your heart and hope that the other person forgets all about it. Or some other way out.

But, i know, the decision isn't going to be easy.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Vinci :
@no but i have been on the brink of falling into 1400 feet abyss (arkansas) and 1200 feet recently (sahyadris).
:)))))))))))
thanx so much ...ur comment was real nice , somehow :)

2 Kickassso :
:)))
But , i am feeling bad :(((

2 Vivhyd :
Even asking for forgiveness is not possible here :(

2 AB :
Thanx deary .....
but , itz hard for them to understand that , i guess , coz of my actions

Invincible said...

:)
So you back to smiling, hovering high .. say reached cloud no. 4 and a half?
:))
I m so happy for ur :))))

Sudarshan said...

Hey deepa...I hope nothing's wrong..everything's okay right???

Sujit said...

enu aithu?.. and those?.. how many people are hurt..?.. try to patch out.. but put in your effort.. morethan that none can do anything else.

Its easy to say words and tough to be on action. enu aggala .. swalpa nemadiyagiri..

Jackal said...

uff Deeps what happened......relax everything will be fine....i sincerely wish it is.......tcc byee

>|' ; '| said...

pretend tht it didnt happen..these illusions often work..

>|' ; '| said...

and be assured tht they wont hold ne grudge against u..after all they are people who care for u the most..

AnonymousBlogger said...

Deepa, I'm assuming this has something to do with family or friends. If that is the case, family and friends will forgive. They really will. That's what makes them who they are. Every one of us has done or said something that we've later regretted.

But you know what? Time will heal what ails you. It may not seem like it now, but give it time.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 maya cassis :
Hello ...
Welcome :)
we do a lot of things for a reason , but most of them are not justifiable :(

2 Keshi :
thanx deary .....
but the guilt and the sadness on the faces of the people you hurt haunts .. right ???

2 perplexed kid :
Hi
Wecome to you :)
yeah , life goes on , but some things are hard to digest ...
thanx !

2 vishnu :
hi :)
hope u r fine too :)
did u read the book ?

2 hotice :
Hi :)
The " fall " is because of my words :(((

Keshi said...

it haunts yeah...but we r only human...we cant be perfect all the time...sometimes we just lose our temper and say cruel things to ppl we love...that's our anger speaking...not the real you that love ur loved-ones...I'm sure that the ppl u hurt get angry too. it's up to them to realise this and forgive u cos u genuinely feel sorry now. And it's up to u to make it up for them in a touching way...


Keshi.

Nabeel said...

what you wanna say will remain unsaid .. hmmm .. so your blog is going unnoticed to a person you want here? ..

the familiar kid is me .. i was referring to myself there.

Ash said...

yes i do know what it is hurting somebody with words as sharp as pointed knives and then the guilt because the hot temper was something that was not needed .....

take it easy it happens and if it is loved one they would know it too that u never meant it that way at all .........

as amma once used to say about a sanyasi who gave some liquid to two neighbouring women who had constant word fights ...the prescription was to hold the water in the mouth as long as the other is in front ...or is speaking..
the quarrell ended and the sanyasi said it was just a trick of water ...plaine water ...

take care and sont worry too much
Luv
Ash

PuNeEt said...

Hey dearrrrr

What happnd to U

Life is not easy always...
I wish you all the very best

burf said...

beautiful post, that earlier cloud one, v nice

and take care, time will take its toll

Binu "the mallu" Ninan said...

hallo... kure naal aayi kandittu.. ente blogil ;)

Krish said...

I know. That's sad.

take care!

Divya said...

wot happ to deepa :(... r u ok now??? plssss gimme a smile deepa cutiepie hugsssssss

:: The Protector :: said...

>>hope u r fine too :)

Ya! budz....... :)

>>did u read the book ?
wat book? "Stranger...."? not yet!

Have a Nice weekend! Take Care!

Cheers!
:)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Ajay :
Yup .. i am fine now

2 z000nie :
thatz how women are made .... u got a lot to learn dear ;)))

2 Vishnu :
Yeah .. saw that ... shall do it soon ... :)

2 Karthik :
Hi there :)
Welcome ...
Thankz for the story .. have heard something similar , not the same one tho

Mind Curry said...

i guess we all go through it..atleast i have too..but we have to believe things happen for a reason..we cannot hold on to the past and move on..and if the past is too precious, revisit it and make a fresh beginning.

Sudarshan said...

Whatsup deepa??Great to hear that you're fine now:-)..I'm waiting for your next post!!

Nitika said...

such a emotional post

yeah i know the feeling....
it hurt your heart million times more than it does to other

hope everything going fine with u deepa

wish u loads of happiness

take care

niki yokota said...

awww~ deepa-chan!
hope ur feeling better now(>_<)
i do feel like u sometimes tho...
bad ppl live long, and good ppl die young.
so u'd better be a Bitch sometimes.
this is my opinion.
take care of ur health!!

ramya said...

deepa,

"You know the feeling of falling into an abyss ?"

yes i do....but i was in the receiving end.

Its so so miserable to be hurt by some one whom you care the most, someone whom you love the most on earth, someone who is important than anything else in this world... ohh my god, it shudders me even now if i think of it..

Its such a heart-pricking anguish, even my enemy shouldnt undergo such a phase in life... I must appreciate u....atleast you regret for that. It is like half undoing what u have done. ur buddy must be lucky. hmmm...i am not blessed enough... :((

as karthik said, that 20$ bill will never lose its value.

And finally...

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!"

These are the words which still keep me going!

one last request...never ever do this again, especially to those for whom, just your smile makes their day!

take care dear!

with tears,
Ramya.

Sudeep said...

hey... hope u r doing gud now :)

Art said...

Take care dear... As time goes on things will become better

the Monk said...

whoa....chill...they'll forgive you...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Sudeep :
you didnt dance for me the first time either ...now , that will make me sadder :((
Anyway , thanx for the hugs :) ... thanx a lot :)

2 Pradeep K :
Yes , i saw ur tag .... shall take it up soon ... :)
thanx !

2 ATG :
I know very well the pros and cons of blogging ... and also that this isnt real .. and i write for my satisfaction ...
of course , some of the friends i have made here are worth zillions to me ....
and the fact that they are not real people to me doesnt so much as the fact that they are human , and exist somewhere , and that i can identify with them ....
by success, i was not referring to career here.
And , i am NOT looking for sympathy here, if thatz what u mean

2 Anon :
Hi
Welcome to you :)
I think so many people are in the same boat ... just that the experiences may be a bit different ...
Hope you are at ease with urself now.
take care

2 rebel_on_loose :
What makes u think it is a
" HE " ???
Thanx for ur wishes ... i am fine ..
shall soon put up a nice post .. ok ?
Cheers :))

2 Div 'दिव' :
Hi Div , ..
but the problem here is that i cant apologise coz my apologising here will have no meaning ... atleast , thatz what i feel here ...
but , i feel things are better
thanx :)

Raj said...

touching lines.....
hope evrything is fine with ya...

tc

Sudeep said...

I did .. its just tht u failed to notice

Arti Honrao said...

At some point or the other everyone of us goes through this feeling.
I just came out of it few days back.
It is a phase, we just need to have patience.

GBU
Arti

Anonymous said...

2 vinci :
now, i am fine ...
and i am so happy to see u here :)

2 sudarshan :
yup yup yup .... now , things are almost ok :)

2 sujit :
Eega , swalpa swalpa seri hoogthaayidhe ...
aaa ... bidi ... athru vichaaranne yoochne maadudhre , tale kethoogathe :|

2 jackal :
Hey :)
i am fine now , thanx :)

2 poison :
yeah ! i know where u got this reasoning from .... 4 yrs in CET gives u this background .. but unfortunately here ,i cant do that :(

2 AB :
Hey "KID" , u sound waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more mature than me .... u r abs right .... right on target ... thanx :)

Sujit said...

vollaydu.. neevu adarabhage yochane madabedi.. aguvudu agguthe..

All you need is some freinds to pump some hydrogen gas.. and you will start flying up in the sky.... :).. or should we say you are self propelled to fly up :).. usharu.. mathe sigona..

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Keshi :
if only everything was so simple !!!!
but u know , somethings are hard to set right ...
well , now , itz almost ok ... thanx :)

2 Nabeel :
Oh ! the person / people i am referring to know dont know this exists , :)
oh !!! so , it is you ... huh ???

2 Ash :
Hi !
Welcome :)
The story is real nice ... maybe , i should strat practising it ;)

2 Puneet :
Hi !
Am fine now :)

2 Burf :
Thank yaar :)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Binu :
yes , been long since i saw u on my blog as well...

2 Krish :
:|
u take care too ... ok ?

2 Divya :
Yes dear ,.... am perfectly fine now .. thanx !
u tc too ... ok ?

2 Vishnu :
Wokies .... hopoe u had a great weekend :)

Keshi said...

elllo Deeepz u ok today?

Keshi.

Binu "the mallu" Ninan said...

hey its ok... was just pulling ur leg.. hmm.. seems some problem in ur life?
if u wanna talk about it.. i can listen.. n probably help out..

anyways cheer up.. take it easy... and thanks for the best wishes :)

PuNeEt said...

Hey Deepa...
Its a time for new post... and
I've tagged you...

take care
Cheers

Shikha said...

You know the feeling of falling into an abyss?..yup and its hard..but the un-falling isnt too tough if we put our mind to it..and there are lots of us here to pull u back up:)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Mind Curry :
Itz not the past that matters , but the present , right ??

2 sudarshan :
Sure dear , i am finen ow .. thanx !

2 Nitika :
I am fine :)
Hoping for good cheer your way :)

2 Niki :
Wow ... those are strong words from you !!!
Wazzup ?
U take care of urself too .. ok ?

niki yokota said...

hiiiii depa-chan
thank u million!!!!!! how ve u been doing after this post??
pls update ur blog(^o^)/
have a happy day!! xxx

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Ramya :
Hi dear
Welcome ...
Looks like you have been through a very bad experience .... and you are still smarting from it .. huh ?
Well , u take care of urself ...
And dont worry , Things will be fine ... now cheer up .. ok ?

2 Sudeep :
Was very busy :((
Hope to update soon :)

2 Art :
Thanx dear ... yes , things should be fine :)

2 The Monk :
I am chill now :D

2 Raj :
Hi ... Welcome to you :)
Yes , i am fine now ... thanx !

2 Sudeep :
;)))))
Do that again ??

2 Akansha :
Hi :) Welcome :))
Good that you got over it ... so have i now :)

2 Sujit :
Dhanyawada ...
Friends yaaruve illi illa eega .... maybe , athe irhubodhu ella problemsdu root ...
naanu eega normal aagidhini .. thank you :)

2 Keshi :
Yes sweety .... am fine now :))

2 Binu :
Ok da .... am fine now .. gotten over that phase :)
And again , do well ... and lemme know .. ok ??

2 Puneet :
Ok dear ... shall take up ur tag ... next post ... ok ?

2 Shikha :
Thanx so much dear ....
Thanx a lot for ur wishes :)

2 Niki :
Sure dear , shall do so today / tomm ... ok ?

rebel_on_loose said...

Well...i just took a 'wild' guess!
:)
Was i wrong ?
Btw, still waiting for tht Nice post from u !
Cheers!

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 rebel_on_loose :
Yes !! U r wrong ...
post coming up by tomm .. ok ?

rebel_on_loose said...

Oops...intuition DOES fail us sumtimes i guess ;)
Great...keeping my fingers crossed till tomorrow then!

PuNeEt said...

yessss okkkkk
bt fasttttttttttttttttt

am waitng :-(

hotICE said...

whres the nice post Deepa?????

Sudeep said...

Do tht again
Do tht again??? after u bang my head.. NO WAY!!!

i m thinking of never visiting here again



:p

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 rebel_on_loose :
Intuition works , but not this time , i guess !!!
Ok ... good luck for tomm :)

2 Puneet :
loads of work , that is why ....
shall try to make it ASAP.

2 hotice :
coming up soon

2 Sudeep :
U cant ditch me like that :(((((((

rebel_on_loose said...

Well...thnx!!
:))

Invincible said...

i have just deviced a formula to create infinitely long rope so that i can pull you out of the abyss.

Just shout 'vinci is great' 10 times from where u r suspended and the rope wud automatically find u and fetch you to ground level.

Gemini Girl said...

aila! 70 comments? and me adding a 71st! Dont u smell jealousy frm my win dow ;)

Dewdrop said...

First time on your space and sorry to see you in a bad shape. Hope you feel good soon.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Vinci :
Wooo hooooo ....
I am out of it ... shall update today ( hopefully )...
i am MAD at ur YM!

2 Gemini Girl :
A very warm welcome to you ...
Dont ya be jealous ... coz if u r ... i am gonna fill up ur comments section w/ me comments .. okies ???

2 Dewdrop :
Heyyyyyy ....
Welcome here ....
I ma outta it now ... and am happy ... have seen u around ... never gotta visit u tho :) ... see you :)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 GEMINI GIRL :

I tried to comment on ur blog , but cant ... Why ??? WHy ??? Why ???

Nabeel said...

actually no I don't know that feeling to hurt someone who pray for your success everyday .. and I hope i never do.

Sujit said...

Hey, Good you are back into action. Nana defence ninne mugethu.. chenngi nadithu.. mathe neevu hegidera?..

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Nabeel :
You are lucky then :)

2 Sujit :
Naanu chenaagi idhini ...
yenn defence ??

My ID not me said...

I fell into an abyss
I also hurt the things whom i loved
They also felt Sad, prayed for me to get ok.
I wanted to make the things right, but still could not
They were sharper than knives
It never could be undone

I fell from the first floor railing of a balcony onto crushed stones. Was sitting there having drinks with friends, when wanted to kick some one standing in front of me. In the state i was, lifted both the legs off the ground. While falling kicked another closed friend, tore my most loved White Shirt and the scars from my elbow still dont go.

But i still remember and cherish the 3 seconds free fall. Seemed like a Bungee Jump.

Find something you can cherish about the experience.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

my id not me :
Hi !
Welcome to you ...
Ur comment really made me laugh ....
sarcasm and humour ... thanx !

Gates said...

Powerful. Plain powerful.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 gates :
thanx :)

Vamsee said...

This is by far the only post I could relate the most with!:(

niki yokota said...

awww~ deepa-chan is in a training(^o^;;
thank u veery much for dropping by on such busy days!!
u too take care!!!!
xxx

Anonymous said...

DEEPA :
======


2 vamsee :
Hi :)
Welcome to you :)
:)))

2 Niki :
I cant stay away from ur blog ... u know that ... see u ....

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