Wednesday, December 28, 2011

mental harassment

How do you know when you are mentally harassed ?

the line between harassment and concern is so thin .. so what looks like concern to one might seem like harassment to another

Is it harassment when someone close to you continuously finds fault in you, and keeps trying to prove you wrong ? Not because they are consciously trying to, but because they genuinely believe you are wrong.

Is it harassment when you go down with frequent headaches after talking or arguing with one particular person ?

Is it harassment when you are made to feel un-valued or ashamed or bad about yourself ?

15 comments:

up↑take said...

just say: "you think so?"
the message: 'it is just your opinion, stemming from your negativity'
just say it and, without waiting for an answer, hum your favorite song and divert your attention... try it, you are doing a favor to that person and to any future victims

Jack said...

Deepa,

Over possessiveness makes one feel harassed. Even if one wants someone to improve, telling of shortcomings repeatedly is also discouraging leading to one who is being told to feel under confident. I feel best way to deal with such situation is to tell the concerned person " Thanks you, I will keep this in mind." and not to argue at all. You must do what you feel is right as per your conscience.

Take care

Sorcerer said...

Genuine Concern is when concern doesn't takes the shape of harassment. There If its a problem created by humans then there is always a middle ground and a neutral path.

Trying to prove someone wrong..well finding fault..actually some people do it as if there is a prize for it.
It's a prehistoric method/caveman era method in winning over another person.
Human beings and their perception , their vantage points and mental levels differ from person to person.

It could be classified possessiveness.But it should never take the shape of harassment nor come in the way of another persons life and personal space,for each one has their own plans for life, freedom, comfort zones and each one has a destiny to fulfill.

unvalued baaaaah...as if society/others certify us. Dont give a damn to what others say/perceive.

It's very easy to make another person feel bad about themselves- based on the well known theory that 'nobody is perfect'.
The rule of the game is to IGNORE it.

_____
A story from one of Paulo Coelho's book.


Cassan Said Amer tells a story about a lecturer who began a seminar
holding up a 20 dollar bill, and asking:
- Who wants this 20 dollar bill?
Several hands went up, but the lecturer said:
- Before handing it over, there’s something I must do.
He furiously crushed it, and asked again:
- Who still wants this bill?
The hands continued raised.
- And what if I do this?
He threw it against the wall, letting it fall to the floor, kicked it,
stamped in it and again held up the bill - all dirty and crumpled. He re-
peated the question, and the hands continued to be held high.
- You mustn’t ever forget this scene - said the lecturer. - No matter
what I do with this money, it’ll still be a 20 dollar bill. Many times in our
lives, we are crushed, stamped on, kicked, maltreated, offended;
however, in spite of this, we are still worth the same.

** Never Underestimate YOU, yourself.**

____



"There are some shits money cant solve...for everything else there is the middle finger."-Sorcerer on everything else.

Bikramjit said...

hmmm tough question
but if something make me sad and hurts me I will take it as harassment

Bikram's

Anonymous said...

I think we are more valuable and better looking after being crushed,stamped on,maltreated and offended actually,Sorcy,it's as the beauty is squesed out of us similar to a lyposuction and the fat put into the furrows of the forehead.

Anonymous said...

what do you mean by "someone who is close"? Is that person a part of your daily life? Pl try to be objective and understand the situation from that person's perspective, respond appropriately.Be really confident in expressing your views without getting emotional and reactive. VALUE AND RESPECT YOURSELF before giving more value for what other say to you even if they are very close....

Anonymous said...

Hi Deepa,
If you love that person or if that person has love for you or if your loved one has love for both you and that person who harasses you, then, my sincere advise is to shed your ego of "I" totally and then be passive and leave the things to the ALL PERVADDING GOD. Remember that this GOD is more powerful than even that person who is harassing you.

Take a break from all these crap and find yourself in the solace of the all LOVING and all PERVADING GOD. GOD will solve your problems and give you mental peace. Remember that Swami Vivekananda said "Man will listen when nature slapes him left and right ruthlessly". Leave the judgement to GOD and turn your self to GOD.

This is my sincere advise to you. When things cannot be solved by us, then wee need to leave it to GOD. God will solve the problem for us. Just immerse yourself in the thought of GOD. I advise you to read the book I referred you to sometime back: Autobiography of a Yogi by swami Paramahamsa Yogananda.

I was in similar situation like you, but after reading this book, I felt that GOD is very closer to me than even my kids or my sopuse or my parents or my best friends, adn from then on, I have never looked back again. No matter what, I am strong because of the life that has the love towards GOD. Believe me, GOD leads us in the same way a mother leads the hand of the small Kid. This book is available freely on the internet at crystalclarity.com website http://crystalclarity.com/yogananda/contents.php


This book will establish your lost link with GOD. I could not stop my tears when I first read this book and from then onwards, whenever I read something from this book, I used to get a solution to one of my problems. What else can I say. There might be other ways to know GOD, but this one is for sure, as it happened to me. I am not telling this to make someone follow my words, but I am telling as I cannot see my sister worry in her life. Who knows, one day, I might eat food with your hands, if GOD lets happen so.


DONOT WORRY AND FIND YOURSELF SOLACE IN GOD.

Avada Kedavra said...

It indeed is harassment and I feel talking to them objectively, without showing any sort of emotion is the solution

kanagu said...

Yes. Its harassment once it crosses the limit.. they can't point out the fault from nowhere all the time na..

anyway wishing you to have a great 2012 devoid of the all the troubles :) :)

Anonymous said...

Floating on Water by way of Yoga:

http://meetelugu.com/movies/daily-news/video/13380.html

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

uptake :
i think that's also tried and tested .. to no avail

Jack :
That's true logically, but so hard to practise in reality !

sorcy :
;)

Bikram :
exactly what i feel

Anony1 :
So you mean to say our suffering is good ???

Destination Infinity said...

No one can hurt you or harass you without your permission. If someone is criticizing, try to see if there is some logic. If you don't find any, just tell calmly that you don't think so (for whatever reason), and walk away. I don't see what's so complicated about this.

Destination Infinity

Anonymous said...

Dear Deepa,
What I meant to convey is that, when things are not in our control or when things are not with in our reach, we should be able to seek the support of GOD. If we know how to do this at will, then, we will overcome all the problems that we see in life, since no problem is bigger than GOD. If we have the support of that GOD, thyself, then what to fear of?

Deepa said...

DI : It isnt as simple as that. Maybe, I'll write a post on it sometime

Anony, Thanks for the links.

Anonymous said...

You are responsible for yourself. Not for anyone else's actions. If someone "makes you feel bad," you need to adjust your reaction to whatever they're doing. It's not anyone else's responsibility to look out for your feelings. The way you feel is on you.

Destination Infinity is 100% correct here.

Crying harassment is simply trying to pass the blame. It really is that simple.