Death of a Grandfather

Our Grandfather, so precious
Away he went, and lonely he left us.
Leaving behind a void and memories,
Which in due time will just be stories.

Hale, healthy and hearty,
Enjoyed making us happy.
Full of experience, and well-learnt wisdom, 
Enough strength to steer his private kingdom. 

Natural remedies and medicine, 
Practical sense, more than we had ever seen.
A cure for every symptom, 
Kindness, more than the mind can fathom.

First to offer help in a crisis,
Not a single detail did he miss.
Guided us through the storms in our lives,
And basked in the sunshine of our smiles.

He is at peace.
But we can never be. 
For we shall always see
The memories in which he be.

We miss you Thaatha. Loving grandfather and wonderful father. 

Edakkal Caves.

This July, I went to have a look at the Edakkal caves. Located in the breathtakingly picturesque Wayanad district of Kerala,  these caves are about 1,200 m above sea level. 

There are 2 caves - the lower and the higher cave. They were formed when an earthquake split open a huge rock. The first picture below shows a gorge in the cave wall, and the second picture is that of the roof of the higher cave. 

Gorge in the cave wall.

Roof of the higher cave

To reach the caves, we walk up a long road, and climb a series of steps and intermediate boulders to reach the lower cave. From there, it's another series of boulders to the higher cave. But the climb is so totally worth it. The surrounding scenery adds to the exhilaration of the climb.

The higher caves walls have pictorial representations dating to 6000 BC, indicating the presence of Neolithic men in these caves. The mural carvings seem to have served as a journal of their day to day life. In addition, there are also writings in the ancient Sanskrit and Tamil/Malayalam script. 

Mural carvings on the higher cave wall.

Ancient Sanskrit and Tamil/Malayalam script.

The Phantom rock seen from the entrance to the higher cave.

In the above image, the "phantom rock" refers to a tiny rock structure that is jutting out behind the closest mountain range. It's a naturally constructed structure. The structure consists of a sequence of boulders one above the other. (Google "Phantom Rock Wayanad").

The games politicians play !

Recently Jayalalitha ordered the release of Rajiv Gandhi's murderers. The woman has gone completely mad ! Seems like she's trying to win over the Tamils (SriLankan) by this gesture .. But she forgets that before taking care of the SriLankan Tamil sentiments, she has to consider the sentiments of her countrymen. In the first place, she herself is very very vindictive. Then, how can she forget the feelings of revenge or the need for justice the families of the victims have ? 

Moreover, by letting the murderers free, what message is she projecting to the world ? That anyone can commit a terrorist act against us, but will be spared in the end ??!!! Chanakya, the master politician would have had a lot to tell her on this issue. By taking such brainless decisions, she is weakening the country's defences. If a CM can do this, what prevents some other country from taking liberties with our country ??? No other country in the world would commute a death to life sentence, let alone free, a terrorist who murdered the country's Prime Minister.

I was expecting Rahul Gandhi also to play safe and ask for the release of his father's murderers. But thankfully, in this aspect, he has had some sense.

The relatives of the murderers have expressed happiness over Jayalalitha's decision ... but what if they were on the other side ? Would they have been just as forgiving ? An atrocity will always remain an atrocity, no matter who forgives it. 

I feel there should be no question of human rights in this issue at all. What the murderers did was against human rights too. And by forgiving them, we are not great .. we are just plain stupid. Gandhiji might have preached about showing the other cheek when someone slaps you on one, but then, he didn't have to fight or protect the country against terrorists. Against the British regime which was already rooted in India, yes .. but that's different from fighting external forces.

I am so mad that I am unable to write straight, or type all my thoughts on the same. Stupid Jayalalitha.

Recycling

A few decades ago, milk was sold in bottles. As a kid, my father used to buy the milk, clean the bottles and return them. This was true for most consumables. 

Then came the plastic age .. everything from rice to milk started getting sold in plastic wrapping. The amount of plastic waste around us is disgusting. Once the consumable is used, the plastic is just discarded, which is really bad. At least with paper cartons, the cartons can be recycled. And plastic, unlike paper, is harmful to plants :(. 

So, at the cost of a bit of my time and effort, I've reverted to buying milk in bottles. After consuming the milk, I return the bottles to the same store. Therefore, no waste, nothing to recycle, and I feel I'm doing my part for the environment !

I read a bit more on milk bottles and looks like I am not the only one .. 
http://www.strocel.com/glass-milk-bottles/

If more people, especially in India, could take initiatives to reduce plastic consumption, the country would be so much cleaner and pollution free (like it used to be during my parents' childhood days).

To Raja ...

In one of my previous posts (http://deepasayz.blogspot.ca/2012/10/raja-stray-who-adopted-us.html), I put up pictures of Raja. Am so glad I did because when I went home this time, he was nowhere to be found.

One bad day, he disappeared .... No trace of him anywhere. 

Theories on his disappearance are many. My mother feels he might have been buried alive. There was a construction going on nearby. It is possible he couldn't get up in time. My neighbour feels he might have fallen in a garbage dump and died. 

A dog-sterilisation corporation van went by a day before he disappeared. After the van went, new dogs were seen in our locality. Hopefully Raja has just been displaced, and will come back to us one day. 

Life doesn't seem the same without him. Though a stray, he was our confidante. From not letting us touch him, he graduated to letting us put 'tikka' on his forehead. 

When we had to go to buy something from the shops at night, he always came with us. Even if he was not lying in front of the gate, he'd come running from somewhere. It was a kind of security having him with us.

The last time I left home after a visit, he howled his head off. He ran after the car as far as he could, and I had tears all through the journey. And this time, he's not to be seen.

Wherever he is, I hope he knew just how we loved him. He'll never know how much his disappearance has affected us. Though my mind says it is impossible, I wish he comes back.

And it's yet another new year !

2014 .. The dawn of yet another year ... Dawn ? A month past the new year...
Nevertheless, for a lot of people like me, the new year freshness lasts till March-April.

Now that a lot of clouds have lifted, and the sun seems to peep through, I hope to restart writing !

The ground under your feet

Life has an unique way of pulling the ground from under your feet when your least expect it. It leaves you feeling expendable. And when the sense of being expendable comes in a relationship with either the spouse or parents, it feels like the world is crashing down. Maintaining your sanity becomes a battle unknowingly. 

A fear and a lack of security keeps us from sleeping. Do lay down is to invite demons - the thought demons. Burning out, racing from room to room, folding clothes .. anything is acceptable when compared to having to lie down.Lying down friendless and feeling unwanted reminds you all over again just how expendable you are to the people in your life at this moment. 

Sitting alone invites the thought demons to share your space. Sitting with others is a temporary relief from the depressing company of the thought demons. The thought demons have a way of making your worst nightmares appear to come alive. 

When you feel the ground being pulled from under your feet, there is the weird feeling of falling from the precipice into an unknown abyss. No not exactly .... it is more like feeling like the ground is slipping from under your feet only to rotate a 90 degree and knock you on your head

Looking for God

My mind seeks a soothing balm
For it knows not a sesemblance of calm
The winds of  fear and despair blow too hard
And  the mind knows it is breaking into many shards 

My heart seeks a soothing balm 
It knows the mind is not calm 
Fraught with fears of the future
It tries hard to find a source of  nurture. 

"Why thee fear ?" asks the brain
"When the great God will take care of your pain"
"Fear is a killer" replies the mind
"And even God may be too hard to find"

"Fear numbs you, fear eats into your soul
Once started, it is on a roll
It leaves you incapable of doing what you know is right
And makes you give up everything without a fight"

"Have thee some faith"
The wise brain does sayeth
"When the going gets tough
Let God work magic on the rough"

"Weeping is a thing of the past
This time, make faith and hope last
God is with you, you are not alone
As many a desperate man has learnt and known.

You may feel suffocated
Weary, tired and subjugated
But God will come and take care of you
With patience you will see this is true" 

The wise brain's words does bringeth some relief
And keeps bay the growing grief
The heart now looks for God
As only God can extend the saving rod. 

Raja - a stray who adopted us.

Romancing Peacocks

Done with the basic concepts of Travancore mural painting techniques. However, the birds have been adapted from different painting styles. 

Made this as gratitude to my supervisor for his untiring support and confidence in me and my work. 

Incidents from Mahabharata - 1

When  we are upset or in trouble, we tend to either move to spirituality or to addiction. Delving into the greatest epic written in our country - The Mahabharata - is my support. Incidents illustrated in the epic are so significant even today. One incident that stood out is Draupadi's predicament and words to Krishna when the Pandavas and Krishna were debating whether to go for war or give up everything they had for peace.

Before the war, Krishna went to the Kauravas as an ambassador from the Pandava side.  Before he took on the task, Krishna wanted to know the opinions of the Pandavas. Yudishtira was against fighting. Arjuna refused  to fight as the elders and the youth would be killed, leaving no scope for the generation to continue, as well as no scope for the younger generation to imbibe the knowledge of the elders. Further, women would lose their husbands, leaving them helpless and forced to go to any means to take care of themselves. In addition, Arjuna refused to fight against his teachers and elders.

Bhima too refused to fight, and said he was ready to even work as a servant for the Kauravas if war could be prevented. 

Then  Krishna asked Draupadi what she wanted. At this, Draupadi sheds tears. Krishna, who in that avatar wipes away every woman's tears, promises to avenge Draupadi's tears. When asked again, Draupadi replies that she is as good as being husband-less. Despite being married to 5 brave and illustrious warriors, it is as if she's married to 5 cowards. She elaborates how when the Kauravas tried to humiliate and force themselves on her, her husbands watched helplessly. The elders too forgot the path of righteousness in that court. And now, her husbands are ready to work as servants for the Kauravas if war could be prevented. But what about her ? If her husbands were to work as servants, what was she expected to do ? And then, she says she would never step into the Kaurava household, and if necessary, return to her aged father, assimilate his army and wage a war on the Kauravas. To this, Krishna replies that he has got his answer. 

If viewed closely, so many parallels are visible. Even today, man is ready to sacrifice his wife for his relatives. Even today, man never considers his wife while making decisions. Exceptions are there, but 99% of men are selfish narcissists whose only focus is their own and *their* relatives' well being. There are so many cases of men being ready to sacrifice their wife's happiness for their success.

Even today, a woman is completely safe in only her own (her parents') house. Throughout life, a woman gets most support from her parents. Exceptions abound here too, but this is true for 85% of the women. A woman, if true to herself, finds peace of mind mainly in her parents' home.

Draupadi, despite having 5 brave and valourous husbands, had to seak solace and refuge in Krishna. Even today, a woman is often forced to, and receives help, support and guidance from people other than her husband. May the Krishnas of this world flourish and increase. 

P.S : I know a lot of women will argue saying that they find peace with their husbands. But, most of these women would have given up their interests, their hobbies, and things that matter most to them for this peace(?). Only 1 in  10,00,000 men would do the same for their wives. Sadly, 99% of women do not fall in that category. 

Every time a woman is insulted,
it should herald the start of degradation of the one who dared to insult.

The woes of a married woman

OVERHEARD and SYMPATHISING WITH ..... 

I left my life 3 years ago - a happy life, a life where I had a successful, flourishing career, where I had umpteen friends, where I had both my financial and mental independence, a life where I lived with my parents   and was satisfied in helping them - to move across the seas for the man I loved and thought loved me, to embark on what I believed would be a wonderful life. 

I over estimated men. I left my parents' home sure that I'd no longer be scolded for my mistakes, instead I now receive insults. I left my parents' home thinking I'd now have a house to rule, but now I feel like I'm a burden than the ruler of a house. I left my parents' house thinking I'd have the same freedom as before, but now I feel I'm mentally and emotionally held captive.  I left my parents' house thinking I'd meet them and be there for them as much as possible, but now I realise my going to visit my parents itself comes with time bounds.

When I look at photos of a satisfied and happy girl, I cannot help but drown in self pity. I know that no one can come forth to help me, and I cannot help myself. 

The community I live in regards my partner as the most loving, kindest and the most generous of all they have seen. But, I am terrified by the fights that can ensue if I have an opinion contrary to his. I am expected to work as living on one person's salary is difficult. But what if I  want to make a life, do something creative ? I had been in the so called private sector for 5 years, and dont want to go back. When I want to do something, I am always discouraged. My not working in a 9-to-5 job gives folks the right to snub me. My thinking differently gives people a reason to look down on me. My belief in God and wanting to stick by traditions brings disapproval. My wanting to spend more time in my own country brings irritation and fights. 

I now realise I was meant to just be an add-on to my partner's life. I often hear him say he'll never change in life, however, he expects me to change my principles as well as myself. My opinion is never sought in major decisions. My capabilities are hugely underestimated, so much so I have started to doubt myself. 

Dear post, I wish you'd somehow reach out to my partner and show him that marriage is not about one person sacrificing everything in their life to just be an addition to someone else's life. Marriage is not about curbing another and wanting one's life to be the same. And marriage is not threatening your spouse with a divorce because you cannot compromise and want to find a new partner. 

Susan Boyle

We judge books by their covers far too soon .... and we are often so so snobbish. But those with true talent always remain humble, and in the end beat all odds.

This post is probably way too late. But, Susan Boyle's life is one of those things that reminds me what is truly real in life. Ms. Boyle was laughed at all through her life, her dream of wanting to be a singer laughed at by everybody. But, dreams dreamt sincerely will never disappear. She finally got where she should have always been. Two videos : one where people snickered at her, and one where she achieved her dream always come to my mind when I feel a need for inspiration (especially the first video).

http://youtu.be/RxPZh4AnWyk

and

Sayings #1

There is a saying in Kannada

"Nauvu-aada manasu kopvaagi horage hogathe"

which roughly translated means

" The hurt mind throws out anger" or
"The hurt mind lets out words of anger"

isn't it so true ??

My first Travancore Mural work

New Year

Happy New Year !
May the new year bring a lot of cheer, peace and happiness to all of us.

mental harassment

How do you know when you are mentally harassed ?

the line between harassment and concern is so thin .. so what looks like concern to one might seem like harassment to another

Is it harassment when someone close to you continuously finds fault in you, and keeps trying to prove you wrong ? Not because they are consciously trying to, but because they genuinely believe you are wrong.

Is it harassment when you go down with frequent headaches after talking or arguing with one particular person ?

Is it harassment when you are made to feel un-valued or ashamed or bad about yourself ?

Arsenic in fruit juices ?

Seriously ??!!! Latest studies found that fruit juices can be a source of arsenic poising (and leading to cancer) in the long run.

The brand that we are so familiar with - Tropicana ... there apples juices contain arsenic.

Refer links below :

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2011/12/06/consumer-reports-finds-excessive-arsenic-lead-in-apple-grape-juices/

http://blisstree.com/eat/nutrition/arsenic-found-in-fruit-juice-488/

http://chilloutandgethealthy.blogspot.com/2011/12/arsenic-in-fruit-juice.html

Guess our grandparents and parents had a point when they tried to dissuade us from having food outside !

What Women Want

What does a woman want ?
She wants to live her life in peace, without taunts.
With people close to her accepting her with her flaws
Not asking her to change and live according to their laws

She wants those in her life to love her first
And not be expected to give up all and be treated like dirt
She wants to be away from interfering relatives
And not be held responsible for any small tiffs

She wants to be respected, and then asked to adjust
She wants her talents to be valued and viewed with trust
And not be berated, or worse, accommodated
In the expectation that she forget herself, and everything blindly accept

-------------------------------

Why is a woman never asked her opinion on matters of importance ? Why is a woman just blindly expected to follow everything her family says ? Why educate women if they can't be allowed to live life on their terms ?

Why make women so fearful of you that they agree to anything just because they see no way else ? The fear makes a woman forget how to laugh even. Why expect her to put aside her individuality for community and society's sake ?

Why expect so much from women ? She is so powerful, but you all corner her and turn her into a rag .. Why not let her also have choices ? With , uneducated people , this trait can be attributed to lack of exposure .. but what when educated folk too try to force their women to change ?

Why not leave women alone ?

Cartooning