Thursday, June 08, 2006

Today , I am sad and feel wrecked ... profoundly so

Last night , my soul howled to the Gods above for solace and to tell me that what I've lost is not for real ....

I tried to cry myself to sleep , but sadness is a weird thing ..... as its depth increases , it leaves you immobile and tearless

Death doesn't do any harm to the person who dies , but lives behind sorrow in the lives of the people who live on .

And grief is weird ... it doesnt let you open up to the people who reach out to you .. it just pushes you away from people. And that is an irreparable loop

And the memories hurt ... and you try to forget .. but it is so hard

There are so many things I should have done , said and shown .. but everything is lost !

This post was put up coz I need to get a grip on myself and understand what has just happened.

84 comments:

Roy said...
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Roy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kickassso said...

Aah...There there!
Memories can hurt a lot, But the important thing is that youre past that.Make sure whatever happend doesent happen again.

and thanks for the welcome back!

Keshi said...

Deepz I know I dun have the right to ask but I wanna know what happened to make u feel this sad? Pain and suffering comes in different shapes and it doesnt get any better. But always know that the darkest hour will pass too...

tc n email me if u can...
Keshi.

Ekta said...

Hey Deepa
HUggggzzz!
what happened girl?
U dont sound ok!....
Pls pls be strong...i know it can probably be difficult...but let the memories of good times carry u thru!
God Bless

Vivhyd said...

Deepa.. offering solace is a very difficult thing to do.. all things gone and lost leaves behing precious memories and thts where we have to draw inspiration from and keep moving.. May God give u the strength.. tke care..

niki yokota said...

please be strong, deepa-chan...
my prayers with u (>_<)(>_<)(>_<)(>_<)(>_<)(>_<)(>_<)(>_<)(>_<)

Sujit said...

hey deepa.. enaitu..?.. solance for neself is tough.. but you are a person who can unwind your own path... take the -ve of -ve that would make you positive.. and mirror image of what things happen!.. that would make you strong!.. a rock that can withstand more shocks!!.. watch the sunrise, feel the breeze, take deep breadth.. look things in a new and different way!.. eberything has a say.. listen to them.. and take things and move!!.. tumba jasti aithu alwa?..

Jackal said...

deeps:

kya hua re......i can say lot of things but at times like this words may not help....wish i cud be there along side u...

:: The Protector :: said...

hey Deeps wht hpnd...y u r so down....be strong and face the situation....

hugs... u can mail me...

Cheers!
:)

Sujit said...

eegalu inna :(.. cheer up..

Arti Honrao said...

Hi! I know that saying "Move on with life" is easy to be said than done but what I can say is ..."try" that is what I am doing too


GBU
Arti

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 ALL :

Thank you very much ......

Roy ,
thanx for the poem as well as the wishes , same to you

Kickassso ,
itz already too late
and yes .. :)

Keshi ,
hi dear .... will mail u if possible. .. thanx for the wishes ...
and therez no qn of rights and all ...

ekta ,
i will be fine .. thank you

Vivhyd ,
take care :)

Niki ,
yes .. prayers are a source of solace !

Sujit ,
illa ri .. neevu helidh ella serine .. andre naavu manushyar alwa .. manasu navvu aadhaka ashthu easy alla

Jackal ,
yes dear ... thatz how it is .. right ? sometimes grief has to be faced alone :(

Vishnu ,
yes .. shall do so if possible
tc

Arti ,
hi !
welcome
tragedies ... are so hard to bear
GBU too ....

PRADEEP K. said...

Wot happened Deepz?
Something you wanna talk about? You can share with me if you wish, dear.

Cheer up, soon. :)

Rose said...

The phase is terible i know.. Iv been thru this..

But time is the ultimate healer.. And belv me.. no matter hw much u think u r sinking frm within, u emerge out of it much stonger than u hv ever imagined..

It helps to talk to some1.. anyone.. Let me know if u wana talk to me.. I knw its weird that im sayn this.. But in case it helps..

Take care..

..Me

>|' ; '| said...

what happened? i dont know what to say...u r right about the tendency to repel anyone reaching out to u, even in good faith. maybe its a reassurance to oneself that we are capable of handling it on our own, i guess..take care......

mathew said...

little babies cry..big people cry in the bathroom..but u gonna get a big relief after that..cry as much as possible..!!! :)

But dont forget to cheer up after that!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Sujit said...

howdu.. tumba kasta adathe.. aga evu madakke agali.. nuvvu elligu hogalla alle irrathe.. adare.. avvu idaga.. naavu yavudadaru kelasa dalli.. busy iddare.. swalpa kadime agathe, since you think about it!.. meevu nimma novvana.. paint nalli paint madi...nodi.. enadaru kadime adatha?!!.. painting will also refresh you right?

Alexis Leon said...

May God give you enough courage and strength to overcome whatever your are going through...

Anand said...

Hey Deepa,
Dunno what to say in such times...am usually terrible in such times!
All I can say is that...just remmeber...life is nothing but a stretch of phases..there are good and bad....this is also one of those bad phases and will pass before u realise!
May god be with u!

AnonymousBlogger said...

Oh, poor Deepa :(

Hang in there. Hopefully the support of all these people help you out.

When in doubt, keep blogging! It works!

Stay strong.

Jackal said...

hope u r al rt deeps :)

vIcKy said...

Hmm...Guess you are to down..time heals every wound...And this sorrow is not going to be permanent...After all life is also a combination os sweet and sorrow memories...

Take care buddy

rebel_on_loose said...

Well u've said sumthing very thoughtful here...

"Death doesn't do any harm to the person who dies , but lives behind sorrow in the lives of the people who live on ."

Though i know any words of consolation would not bring back the departed or reduce the pain....yet i do hope time would fill this void.

Take care and try to divert ur attention to other things!

tcr_79 said...

Take care.. u seem to be going through rough times

Sudeep said...

oye heroine, kya hua?
hope u r fine now.. can just say some soothing words sitting here but its u who has to face the real situation
tk care dear...

Sudarshan said...

Hey what happened? I hope things are okay now.This is one of the first times I've seen you put up such a post!!Be strong..count your blessings.Be brave. Everything will be all right!!

Amit said...

I'm not too good with words when it comes to situations like these...but if you ever need a person to talk to about it, do call me...

Maya Cassis said...

Am so sorry.I can understand what you are going through...somewhat.As I went through it last month.
Time takes us step by step through the healing process and I just pray that you get through it gently

Flying Solo Since 1982 said...

ur blog just "tried" to answer a few questions i always had...but at the same time.. has also raised tons of question... do we have any1 in this world who can solve the mystery of life.... respect...loner...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Pradeep :
thanx for the offer .. lemme try getting over it on my own first !

2 rose :
thank you so much ... at the moment i feel like the grief will never end ... at times , i even feel like i dont wanna snap out of it ... feels like grief offers its own solace ....
thanx very much for all that u've written ,... really !

2 Poison :
yes .... and it feels awful

2 Mathew :
everybody cries .. or atleast , tries to cry !

2 Sujit :
yes , painting helps a lot ... andre , paint maadvaglu pain jaasti aagathe !

2 leon :
inshah allah !
shukriya !

2 Anand :
hi !
Thanx for ur words ..... thank u so much

Sujit said...

mullu.. mullinda tegiyabekalva? adre tegiyuvaga.. novo adagthalla!!.. amela no pain alwa!! :)

:: The Protector :: said...

Deeps, how ya feelin now? how you do better now?

Cheers!
:)

$1L>erB@Ck said...

nice post..it made me think-which is very rare..peace

vaibhav said...

Why are u so sad? What happened? :(

Prashant said...

Hey dont feel bad about what had happened last year or last month or last week or last hous or last minute...Just try to be in present...learn to accept the things as they are ,try to change them if you think you kan and you think they should be changed.

If you are unable to change the situation then "Let it be"(Read my blog on this "LET IT BE").

And be thankful to god for this LIFE......

Enjoyyyyyyyyy

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 A/B :
somethings dont really work that way ... do they ?

2 Jackal :
:)

2 Vicky :
it is .. but the experiences we face linger

2 rebel_on_loose :
thanx for the words ...
but it hurts !

2 tcr :
not rough .. just sad !

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Sudeep :
heroine ? me ????
thanx for ur words .....

2 Sudarshan :
Inshah Allah !

2 Amit :
u didnt call back ! :(

2 Maya :
but it is so hard ... we think no1 else except us has been thru it !

2 Flying Solo Since 1982 :
hi !
welcome :)
respect .. yes !

>|' ; '| said...

nah wasnt a guy.
but sorted out things.

>|' ; '| said...

hope ur feeling better now

vaik said...

I hope things are better now. Well all is part of life, joy and sorrow are repetitive cycles, nothing is certain except the uncertainity.
cheer up

Nabeel said...

yes .. its true death doesn't harm the person who died .. but it leaves behind sorrow for thise who live ..

but then again .. why feel sorryw? If you really cared about that person shouldn't you feel happy that he or she is in a better place? Yes let go of yourself and think about the other person :) .. you'll feel better ..

Roy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Sujit :
neevu heeladhu seri ... but it is hard .... tumbane kashtha

2 Vishnu :
ok ! but still not as good as before .... have started listening to a couple of songs again
tho not like earlier

2 $1L>erB@Ck :
why ? dont u think generally ?

2 Vaibhav :
hmmmmm ... well , i am sad coz of bad happening last week .. esp on june 7th ....
i lost that which was so precious to me ... and now i regret my lack of action

2 Prashant :
hi !
welcome
ok . lemme have a look at the article .. thank you :)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 ROY :

ok .. done ~

Roy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sujit said...

howdu tumba kasta.. adare.. snetaru.. words beTre enu helLakagalla..!! tumba kasta.. adare snehitaru.. kamba tara nintukondu.. nimage support kodtivi..:)..eeglo aaglo.. neevu nagabeeku.. alli varegu wait madtini..

Keshi said...

heyy Deepz u ok today?

How was ur wknd?

Keshi.

Vanathi said...

Take care...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Poison :
thatz weird .. i mean u and a gal fighting
:)

2 Vaik :
change is the only thing that is constant .. isnt it ?

2 Nabeel :
but , maybe the person who died didnt want to die ... then what ?
maybe he had certain duties to finish .. then what ?
and maybe his soul is not happy having dies ... then what ?

Prashant said...

The blog, which i am referring to, is in the link
http:\\seeker-space.blogspot.com

and for that the model name is sonal...her boy friend sahil and i was least bothered to know more about them.......

>|' ; '| said...

:)

kickassso said...

WOW! a lot of people to comfort ya!

silverine said...

You have just articulated your grief and sense of loss. That is the first step towards healing dear. Take care for tomorrow will be a better day.... :)

Nitika said...

hope u have thrust ur depression far away...just wish u r fine now

take care deepa
byeee

Dew Drops said...

deepa,

sad to know what hapened. i know it hurts...

btw, i liked the word, dudy ;)

Nina

tulipspeaks said...

r u okie honey?

hugss

=am000nie=

Invincible said...

Hey Deepa,
i feel terribly sorry on this.
I'd just come out of the greatest shock of my life. I know how it feels when someone dies in ur arms. I can possibly never forget the dire moments. But we need to move on.
I hope you sustain the quake, n keep the hope alive with a strong n positive mind.
Life's sometimes just too harsh. Dont take it as a defeat. May the lord be with you and empower u to steer thru this.

It's been a week and i hope you've gathered urself back.

Ujwal said...

hey hey...once upon a time i was a regular blogger. Whats up girl, all this crying and all. I hope u r taking good care of urself. Watch some amol palekar movies, they make u understand that life is so simple! Do take care

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Sujit :
:)

2 Keshi :
am okie
weekend was bad (as expected) ! but tried to keep myself busy ..

2 Vanathi :
thank you !!

Known Stranger said...

there is nothing called sadness. it is the feeling of not ready to accept the facts and reality.

by the way.. ya to sign in xanga you need to have an id. No unknown signing allowed in xanga.

hmm ya.. ia m.. why is that a surprise or is that i am over aged in your prespective or underaged in your view.

i was pondering on the statment of the age..

Anoop said...

Aaiyoo..hope u r fine:(!!!Didn't get time to blog...Please do take care!!
Parting/loosing all cause enormous grief..but its the way we face it which make us strong..sometimes, ppl who u thought were the meekest become the strongest!!
Hope u get solace soon!!

Arun said...

Hey...
Its all a phase of life, everyone passes thru those :-)...
Hope u r doin fine now

~Cheers

Keshi said...

well why r u sad?

Keshi.

neermathalam said...

What is happening to me
where is my confidence ?
where is my motivation ?
Am I finished or did ! start ?

Musings lead to darkness
Everything is in its own place
But again I am displaced
and dislodged from all hopes

I should think out of my zone
When rejections turn habitual
Whom shall I go for solace
This time I am pessismistic..

grief is an universal feeling reasons differ....
dont run away from it drench
yourself in tears
someday you will understand
it is lord's wish
nobody can answer my worries
so is yours....
that poem i wrote due to some disappointment...
today i m happy...agian...experience and drench yourself in grief..but do it as a third person....

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Prashant :
ok ! got it
i asked for the model's name coz i thought u were talking abt Milind Soman

2 Poison :
:)

2 Kickassso :
but , does it really help ???

2 Silverine :
yes , u r right abt the articulating
thanx dear

2 Nitika :
thanx a lot dear
am pretty ok

:: The Protector :: said...

kya rei, kysa ho tou?
hope your doing better now!

Cheers!
:)

>|' ; '| said...

yea. i had read that article. commercialisation of che... :) n how that pic got taken.

carpe diem!

hows life? our exams will get over by wednesday. last lab of the darn course
*sigh* :)

Sudeep said...

out of the sad mood?
ya ghar pe aau mood thik karne?

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 dew drops :
hi !
oh yes ! it does
tc
and keep coming :)

2 amutha :
i hope i will be , soon !

2 vinci :
oh ! is it ? what happ with u ?
thank u , and same to u

2 ujwal :
welcome back ... hope to see u more regular from now on
what kept u away ?

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 known stranger :
sadness can also be due to a sense of loss ... right ?
abt the age , well , i was surprised ... thatz all

2 Anoop :
busy with work ... huh ?
yes , u r right abt ppl becoming strong
take care

2 Arun :
not so good ... but i'll get better

2 Keshi :
because of a loss

2 neermathalam :
hi !
welcome :)
thanx for the poem .. sounds good ...
the worst is we feel no1 could have felt like us

Keshi said...

well care to share with us Deepz?

Keshi.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 neermathalam :

hey , comments are not enabled !

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Vishnu :
:)
thank you

2 Poison :
but that article was worth reading
Last lab ... good thing !
see u then

2 Sudeep :
Aayiye .... u r welcome :)

2 Keshi :
maybe , some time later ?

Known Stranger said...

still i am wondering why surprised.
what is there to surprise. was you thinking i am young of 22 or were you thinking i am aged of 60's

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 known stranger

:))))

Ujwal said...

my lazy bum u know :))
actually, new job, new city all those fake reasons :))

Keshi said...

sure...now u tc ok?? huggggggggz!

Keshi.

neermathalam said...

Deepz...
intentionally i disabled comments...i had that facility...
when comments turn nasty.. i had 2 close the doors..
sorry 4 that.. but cant help it...
let my blog be like a book where...reader has no rights...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 Ujwal :
i hope the fake reasons are all unfaked now >

2 Keshi :
okie :)

2 neermathalam :
but why are u running away from somebody's words ????

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
neermathalam said...

I ran away from comments because.. I didnt know how to moderate..
I didnt know how to delete...
when I was helpless...like a turtle i just kept my head inside the shell....because i dont want to convert my blogspace into a mud slinging arena..

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

2 neermathalam :
it was that bad ?

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!
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